Blaah, i cant seem to get rid of this morning sickness. I'm not even sure if it s morning sickness anymore because it lasts ALL DAY LONG. I think it might be from stress and worrying about things seeming i have quite a bit on my plate right now.
My mom still has not said one single word to me, she really hasnt even looked at me. I can tell shes dissapointed but what the hell does she expect me to do? I've listened to my parents all of my life.
I have never once smoked a cigarette or anything for that matter, as a child i wasn't allowed to sleep over at anyone's house they had to sleep at mine, this happened right up until i was 16...When i was seventeen i still had a curfew... The list could go on.
I had to break a rule someday! And i guess this counts as that rule.
But i think its going to be worth it, babies are just so damn cute!
But i know its A LOT OF HARD WORK.
My cousin has a baby and i volunteered to get up with her through the night one time, it was insane, i had to change her diaper like 3 times, and one time i was so tired that i accidentally put the dirty diaper right back on her i didnt even notice until i picked her up and her but was all smooshy lol
Now im just thinking about doing that every single night, but im a pretty determined and stuborn person like i said, i dont give up easily.
Were going home tomorrow. But home may no longer be home for me, my parents still haven't said anything about it yet. And i really dont want to ask.... But i may have to so i can make sure i have a place to stay when i get home. I kinda think they'll let me stay but i don't know I've learned to expect the unexpected when it comes to them.
All last night i kept tossing and turning i couldn't sleep, definitely because im so anxious and overwhelmed about everything, but im leaving it in gods hands.
xox
Kelsey
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